I’m constantly frustrated with my lack of iPod ever since I lost my iPhone last year. Been using Jon Ho’s Creative player ever since, but it kind of conked out a few days ago, right before the D1M3 performance, and I was using the player for the performance since I’m the sound op. Had to resort to using CDs instead.

Its not easy to listen to music without a good player with a large memory, since I somehow naturally get new music every day, and its necessary to have a player to listen to, to decide what I like and what’s not worth listening to again. Can’t always do so on the computer, its not like I bring it around 24/7.

Sometimes I feel bad listening to music that I downloaded (illegally), which is most of my music, since I can’t afford to buy CDs at the rate I consume music. The list of albums I wish to own is never-ending, and until now I don’t own many albums that I’d like to own, like albums from Franz Ferdinand, Oasis, Arctic Monkeys, Electrico…

I can’t consciously stop myself from downloading because that would mean I’ll get so frustrated that I’d buy albums, even though I can’t afford to, and that’s totally irresponsible of me. I remember having to depend on buying albums for music. It sucked big time. I would bring 20 CDs on an overseas trip and not listen to anything cos’ I was so sick of everything.

Plus, downloading’s the only way to obtain certain rare tracks. Well I just got Mika’s new song, Kick Ass (from the movie Kick Ass), and that’s pretty much unobtainable.

Most Cobra fans would also know that certain Cobra tracks are extremely rare and cannot be found on any published album (I Kissed A Boy, Hollaback Boy).

Some people would wonder, why tear yourself up over such a trivial thing? But its not trivial at all. Artists that have poured their souls and hearts out into making good music deserve to get paid. I agree with that. Too bad I can’t afford to get everything that I think is good. At least, not at the moment. I have to factor in merch (proudly representing the bands I love), overseas trips, and other daily things as well. And yeah I do splurge on random crap sometimes.

So, what to do? I guess I’m just justifying my actions, but I think its something that I need to do for myself.